Last week was Father’s Day. I always find myself reflecting when these kinds of days come around. Some people call them Hallmark holidays—Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, and all the others. Sure, they want to sell greeting cards. But I choose to focus on something larger in those moments. We should stop for a moment, reflect, and appreciate the people they are looking to recognize—those who helped shape our lives.
When I curate these thoughts each week, my hope is always the same. I’m connecting and aiming to be thought-provoking. I share a lot of personal reflections, and judging by the conversations and feedback I’ve received, they seem to resonate with many of you. For that, I’m truly grateful.
Now, I’m going to say something that I know can be difficult for some because not everyone has a father. Not everyone has a mother. Not everyone grew up with those relationships, whether those people are still with us or not. So, for just a moment, let’s set aside the titles of “father” and “mother.” In today’s world, many of us have found ourselves filling both roles, and I now happen to be one of them.
What I don’t want to lose focus on is the real question. When a day like Father’s Day or Mother’s Day comes around, who do you think of? Who helped make you the person you are today? Because, to me, that’s what these celebrations are really about. They’re about honoring the people who shaped us and recognizing the legacy they left behind.
I was fortunate enough to grow up with an amazing father. Does that mean there weren’t flaws? Of course not. None of us is perfect. He grew up in a different time, became a father at a young age, and faced challenges that I never had to face. Ironically, I became a father much later in life, and with that came an entirely different set of challenges. I often joke that my parents and I grew up together. They were learning how to be parents at the very same time I was learning how to be a son. Occasionally, it was turbulent.
But here’s what I know. I didn’t just grow up around my father. I grew up around a lot of fathers and a lot of mothers. Growing up in Philadelphia, there was a genuine sense of community. Parents looked after neighborhood kids. Coaches invested their time. Teachers challenged us. Friends’ parents welcomed us into their homes. Neighbors looked out for one another. Whether they realized it or not, every one of them left fingerprints on the foundation of the person I would eventually become.
When I look at who I am today, I certainly see my father in me, but I also see an amalgamation of all those fathers, mothers, coaches, teachers, neighbors, mentors, friends, and even strangers who crossed my path. Some taught me through encouragement. Many taught me through discipline. All impacted me and showed me the kind of person I wanted to become. And, if I’m being honest, a few taught me by showing me exactly the kind of person I didn’t want to become. Every one of those experiences mattered because every one of those people helped shape my foundation.
So this week, I want to leave you with a simple question. Who helped build yours? Who invested in your life? Who believed in you before you believed in yourself?
Celebrate your father. Celebrate your mother. Celebrate the people who earned that place in your life. And if your story doesn’t include those traditional roles, don’t believe for a moment that no one helped shape you. Somewhere along your journey, someone invested in you. Someone showed up when you needed them. Someone helped build the person you are today.
Sometimes family is given to us, and sometimes family finds us. Either way, none of us becomes who we are alone.
Take a few moments this week to think about the people whose fingerprints became your foundation. They helped shape your values, your character, and the person you are today.
Then ask yourself one more question.
Whose foundation are you helping build?
Because one day, someone will look back on their life and realize that your fingerprints helped shape theirs. To me, there is no greater legacy than that.
Onwards,
DDD